Anjani rahon mein phir kya dhoondhta phirey?

Late at night is the best time to blog, all the innermost thoughts vent out unhindered. Day 4 in Delhi, saw Rakhi being celebrated. Its Niece’s first birthday tomorrow (technically today, its 29th already).

I am back in the same room, where I used to have all those nocturnal thoughts, an year and a half ago. I havent been able to sleep despite of trying consciously to do so – as a result I have seen 3 movies already, back to back. When I look back at that time, I realise that I am still the same guy, despite having changed. I still dont know what I shall be doing in the future, the only thing I am sure about is that I am not cut out for the job that I am currently in. The main problem lies in the fact that I still dont know what I want to do in life. I am still the insecure, good for nothing guy, who is always lost, and doesnt know what he actually needs. The only difference is that this good for nothing guy now has an engineering degree and a job.

Delhi is still the same, the people are still the same and so are the roads and places, the only thing that has changed is that it doesnt seem like home anymore….. and neither does Hyderabad. I feel like a guest in my own house, or rather I am made to feel this way – being treated special, since I am here only for a few days.

Yesterday I sneaked out for a few minutes to have gol-gappe (panipuri, gup-chup) at the not-so-friendly neighbourhood chat stall. Good gol-gappe are one of the things that I miss at Hyderabad, I have so far not been able to find suji gol-gappa’s and neither the tasty gol-gappa water that I am so used to, from college time. Today I finally got to drive more than a couple of kilometres, driving early morning in Delhi is still a pleasure and I realised that driving in Delhi is infinitely easier than driving in Hyderabad.

I have everything that I could possibly need…….. except satisfaction… I wonder why?

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~ by sleepwalker on August 29, 2007.

2 Responses to “Anjani rahon mein phir kya dhoondhta phirey?”

  1. bcoz u r a human!
    n its human tendency tht he is never happy wid d things he has!!! 🙂

  2. Yup! thats right, and I also have a tendency to never be satisfied, even though I might have everything in the world!

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