The history of my future….

Where I stand today: a software engineer, 23 years old, riding on the Indian IT wave, working for foreign clients, working according to the timings of the said foreign clients, earning an Indian salary, doing no creative work, average money, below average satisfaction, zero self respect.

Where shall I get if I continue like this? I would most probably become a project manager when I am 35 years old, shall occupy those cabins lining the glass walls, have a zero personality, and shall sit and devise new methods of torturing young recruits and shall take pleasure in dashing their high flying dreams to pieces. I shall be thinking up ways of decreasing project costs by recruiting inexperienced (lower salary) staff in place of the more experienced (higher paid) engineers. Is this the life I was made for? No sir, absolutely not.

After almost 20 months into my first job, I have come to terms with the Indian IT scene. I want to opt out now. A couple of years ago, I thought that the technical field was where my calling lay, but the truth was harsh and I am glad I hit on it without wasting too much of time. The scope of personal development in the field of IT, is very very limited, and I know I definitely dont want to end up like the charlatans in those glass cabins, lugging around laptops and throwing around phrases like ‘we have plans for you’, ‘you shall progress if you stay with us’, ‘the future is very bright’ at youngsters who come into this industry with starry dreams of fat paychecks and exciting careers.

Now where do I go from here?
I hate the state of indecisiveness, but thats precisely the state in which I was till last week. I knew that I wanted to study further and have a better job profile. But the weighty question was, what should I do for achieving my ultimate goal of an exciting career? Since the time I left college, I planned pursue MS, after a job stint of two years. The two years of work experience that I had planned for myself, is nearing its end and now I am not sure that I want to continue in the technical field. I have gathered that after my MS I can either try to get into Google (a very remote possibility), or become a college lecturer (not my style) or get back into the same domain again (never) or settle abroad and get into a company that actually values knowledge. I have realized that engineers mean very little to companies as they are available dime a dozen. The scene from the Jublee checkpost to Madhapur (IT guys on the bikes in the dense vehicular traffic, IT guys rushing towards cabs and pushing/shoving to get in) closely resembles something similar to the Factory areas in Faridabad and Gurgaon where factory workers rush to their workshops on their cycles, carrying their lunch boxes; and hang precariously out of public transport buses.

I have been often confused if I should pursue MS or an MBA, but now after almost 2 years of believing in “I was made for the technical” my thoughts have drastically changed to “I was made for the practical” and being in the industry has shown me that technical people are not practical, they are too idealistic. I am interested in the development of my personality, I am interested in public speaking, I am interested in meeting new people, I am interested in traveling to new places, I am interested in leaving an impression on people whom I meet. I am interested in giving my best performance and being paid for what I deserve. Money is a materialistic equivalent of my talent, innovation and achievements and I dont want my talent, innovation and achievements to be undervalued. Being an MS would give me some of the opportunities that I crave for, but I tend to believe that being an MBA would give me a better chance of achieving my desires. Hence I decided that I want to pursue an MBA degree instead of an MS.

I was never sure if MS was the correct path to my future, I dont even know what led me to believe so. I knew that I needed to study further and I knew I liked a bit of technical stuff (which I am really unsure of now); this clubbed with the fact that some of my peers opted for MS, and the possibility of getting a decent college abroad (having scores of hot gals) after scoring above average in the GRE; is the most likely reason that I decided on it. Now I have ditched my MS dreams and resolved to work towards getting into a good business school, and maybe get back into the IT industry albeit with a different job profile.

This decision was made in the past one week and I am really grateful to two of my friends in particular, who made sure that I didnt stay in a state of indecision forever. They didnt help me make my decision, but they helped me realise what I actually want, on the basis of which I decided what I ultimately want to do.


~ by sleepwalker on March 25, 2008.

One Response to “The history of my future….”

  1. hey dizzy..thanks 4 giving ur url… i read all the missed blogs in just one go.. 🙂

    the state of mind u seem to have whn u write this post.. is common with all IT people i think right now… People who passed their colleges with a dream to fly high in the sky, have been confined only to their cubicles..

    It sad but its the reality.. tht we r jst some cyber coolies for these foreign client who bear their burden just for few dollars..

    hope u soon get a right path to fly high 🙂


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