Disciplining apartment mates 101

11102009I can write a whole lot about disciplining people whom you share your apartment with. I have had one of the most filthiest ever people live with me since the past three years, with whom I have tried varied strategies like the Gandhian philosophy, threats, friendly negotiation, self victimization etc. but sadly I have failed. This is my new strategy now. The notice is currently on an A4 sized sheet but if utee persists with his current habbits, the notice shall get bigger and bigger. From an A4 sheet it shall move to a moderately sized chart paper and then to a bigger chart and then it shall become more and more colourful as time progresses.

Utee is a specimen whose father holds a very high ranking government office, has had servants around him day and night, has never ever had to do any work in his entire lifetime, who’s every whim and fancy was tended to by his parents and servants. Now put such a specimen in an environment where he does not have his entire support structure. I shall attempt to describe the outcome of him living away from his family (and the affect it has on me).

Imagine entering my house and as soon as you step into the drawing room you are overcome with the stench of garbage rotting away in the kitchen. The chairs in the drawing room are completely hidden behind stacks of shirts which utee had washed two weeks ago. Then you enter the kitchen, and apart from being blown over by the huge collection of PET bottles of sprite, thums up and mountain dew (I threw out nearly 400 bottles last month), and the ever growing pile of ketchup sachets and condiment packs which arrive unceremoniously with every pizza delivery (3-5 days a week), you shall have to step carefully around the garbage covering 60% of the floor space in the kitchen (as Pri christened it “mini GHMC”, Greater Hyderabad Municipal Coorporation). God forbid if you have to open the refridgerator, you shall be greeted with the sight of fungus eaten fruit which utee had so proudly brought home 2 months ago and since then forgotten to eat, or throw out. Just a glance at the floor will show you what utee had eaten for dinner 5 days ago as he very thoughfully leaves his dinner cartons (plastic trays with compartments for daal, rice, roti, like a plastic dinner plate) stacked one on top of the other on the kitchen floor. At any point of time 5 to 6 of such cartons are present in the kitchen. I guess utee is just being kind to insects and unicellular beings as the pattern of the degeneration of his leftovers usually is – Day 1: ants take over and explore the food, Day 2: fleas and cockroaches have a jam session, Day 3: fungus starts to grow, Day 4 and beyond: stench becomes unbearable.

Though dinner cartons dont have an easy life, they have to fight for premium space with pizza boxes, which get very neatly stacked one over the other on a regular basis. Of course here utee shows his fondness for simple forms of life as well by generously leaving toppings and pizza corners inside the boxes. I am really surprised why my apartment isnt infested by rats as well, but I guess that day isnt far either. A myriad of empty plastic soft drink bottles fight for space on the kitchen counter, the floor, atop the fridge, in the kitchen shelves, smong pizza boxes and dinner cartons.

I have regularly sat utee down and very politely explained to him that I can no longer be his mom, cleaning up utensils which he throws into the sink all day, cleaning up his mess and wiping/sweeping the entire house at regular intervals. The effect of such a pep talk lasts for exactly 32 hours. A couple of times I have shouted at him as well (effect increased marginally to 35 hours). Tried the Gandhian philosophy for 4 months – making a grand show of sweeping, cleaning up the drawing & kitchen room every sunday, running to the sink and washing up the glasses/plates/spoons/frying pans etc as soon as he uses them (in plain sight of him and his friends), running to the main garbage bin out on the street as soon he finishes eating his pizza. All this didnt work either, I guess he began to think of me as one of his dads faithful servants.

Putting up notices is a brand new idea I envisioned today. Lets see what happens, maybe he shall get humiliated enough when his friends visit, that he might improve his habbits. *fingers crossed*

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~ by sleepwalker on October 11, 2009.

2 Responses to “Disciplining apartment mates 101”

  1. hope u have a clean house by now or u have shifted to some place else !!! 😉

  2. why were you still lving in the same apt?

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